Quit resolutions & enjoy being now

Are you about to set a resolution for 2014? I propose a quick test: See if you can start with the change right now! Can you? Congrats! If not I am afraid no calendar date will help Instead of coming up with resolutions I opt for mindful living. I choose to feel more alive by being present and being myself.

Presence. Vitality. Love.

This moment is all I have and ever will have so I choose to be flexible and friendly with it. No matter the date I am taking the first step right now to get into a habit of following joy. What makes me feel most alive and connected with everything around? I told you about one such experience already. Surfing! What happened to me in the ocean? I was 100% present, focused and at the same time flexible; going with the nature’s flow. Such a state got me not only on the board and riding the waves but more importantly it made me feel incredibly alive, fulfiled and joyful. For a while I was totally free of all the life roles I got associated with – a mother, a wife, a sister, a boss, a woman…the list goes on and on.

I simply am and that is enough. In that Nowness– nothing is missing. Everything is perfect. Since I learned surfing I wonder why we overcomplicate life so much? I suspect the main reason is we struggle to be fully present.

Last year at W.I.N. conference I was moved by the life story of Maggy Barankitse, the founder of Maison Shalom. Though she survived true horrors during the ethnic conflict between Tutsi and Hutus Maggy’s speech was incredibly uplifting and towards the end she was asked to share the one thing which helped her to stay strong and save so many children. What she said immediately resonated with the thousand of us in the audience:

Celebrate life every day, don’t carry the world.

Since then I kept reminding myself of her wisdom and today once again I set an intention to be present and follow joy. I know joy often comes to me through profound connection with people, creating or learning something, being in nature…

What brings joy to you? Can you notice a moment of your full presence and the joy it brings? No matter what people tell you, enjoy your joy You always deserve it. Be present, notice it, sense it, live it and pay full attention to it. The joy we feel is like our radar. Listening to its subtle signals is what Joseph Campbell called “following your bliss”. The way I understand it is that our joy shows us who we truly are. Obviously, the sources of my joy are different than yours. Like a unique piece of a universal puzzle – by being myself – I fit into the space originally designed for me to complete the whole picture. Going against it by trying to fit into a different place makes no sense. There is someone perfectly matching that space already. Is there any better way to provide value to others that by being 100% me i.e. following my bliss?

Imagine if we all start to be who we truly are, fully present in each moment, filling our own space of this huge puzzle with joy and dedication!

How would that feel? Would your life change? What would you be doing?

The problem is we are educated to set our joy aside and thus we keep projecting it into the future. It’s as if the society says: OK, look forward to some joy and gosh, have a few dreams (if that helps) but first – make sure to work through the to-do list in front of you. The thing is after a while we are eaten by busyness and start taking our mission to accomplish the list very seriously. Often so much that we forget our dreams and gradually we aren’t sure anymore what was it that used to bring us joy in the first place! In order to meet the expectations of our family, our boss, or our partner we don’t fully enjoy what’s happening in our life and keep surpressing our “joy radar” until one day we wake up completely “joy numb” If you are like me you quickly come up with highly sophisticated ways to get some joy back into your life only to realize that e-bay doesn’t offer inner joy ;)

I believed that once I finish the to-do list great joy would follow. It didn’t quite work and I assumed it’s because there were always things left on that bloody list. In fact, I was totally missing the point, because doing or having couldn’t substitute the lack of being. As I was busy rushing to check off another task from that mental list I hardly noticed… Therefore the 100 days of Nowness were literally eye-opening for me.

You may ask: How do I know when I am not fully present?